Can a couple little words really make a difference in your ability to influence someone, such as a customer or stakeholder?
I just read a summary of Jeff Mowatt’s new book Influence With Ease. Though I’m not recommending it as an addition to your reading list, I did appreciate the reinforcement that small changes to how we phrase things can make a big difference.
Pop Quiz: What two words helped waiters and waitresses to increase their tips by 12%? “Thank you” comes to mind.
In this article Mowatt talks about using the phrase “for you.” Waitresses who said “I brought more coffee over for you” notably increased their tips over those who asked “Would you like more coffee?” Using “for you” helps the service to feel more personalized.
What if you’re not waiting tables? Give some of these a try:
- “Here’s a site I found for you. It looks like it addresses some of the questions we discussed.”
- “I updated the document for you based on your input.”
- “That finishes what I intended to cover in this meeting. Before we wrap up, is there anything more I can do for you?”
In a sense this calls back to what Dale Carnegie taught us decades ago in How to Win Friends and Influence People: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.“
(By the way, here’s a recommendation for you: add Carnegie’s book to your must-read list if you either haven’t read it or haven’t gone over it again in the last 5 years.)
You can radically improve your influence by focusing on the other person and their needs instead of yourself and your needs. Though there’s no phrase that will magically get others to comply in every situation, consider adding a little “for you” into your comments this week.
We offer keynotes and workshops that can help you and your team improve your ability to influence, even when you don’t have authority. Contact us today to learn more.
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