{"id":477,"date":"2018-01-05T12:48:49","date_gmt":"2018-01-05T17:48:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.leadershipintherealworldblog.com\/?p=477"},"modified":"2018-04-17T12:51:52","modified_gmt":"2018-04-17T17:51:52","slug":"how-to-hang-in-there-when-you-have-to-wait","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.leadershipintherealworldblog.com\/index.php\/2018\/01\/how-to-hang-in-there-when-you-have-to-wait\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Hang In There When You Have to Wait"},"content":{"rendered":"

You\u2019re stuck at an airport. In another country. Alone. Forced to wait 7 hours for a flight. That you might not get on.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s me right now. The details surrounding why I\u2019m stuck in Athens International Airport are not nearly as important as the fact that I\u2019m having to wait. And waiting is not something I excel at. For most of us, waiting is not what we do well.<\/p>\n

At all.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re productive. Active. Moving. In a hurry. Using incomplete sentences.<\/p>\n

We are not waiters.<\/p>\n

Airports are filled with impatience. I\u2019ve humored myself today watching people hovering for a power outlet like vultures searching for their next morsel, swooping down to plug in so they can leverage their wait time to catch up. Coffee lines have impatient travelers, hoping that another glare at their watch will make the queue go faster. Boarding times become pushing matches, with everyone jockeying to the front to ensure they don’t miss out on some overhead bin real estate.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m surrounded by discontented waiters today, and in truth, I confess I\u2019m one of them.<\/p>\n

What Are\u00a0You<\/em>\u00a0Waiting For?<\/h2>\n

Chances are you\u2019re waiting for something right now that is far more significant than the distance between you and your next flight. Perhaps you’re waiting for a promotion. Or the day when your boss gives you the credit you think is due. Or a job offer. Or for a stakeholder who is dragging their feet on a sign-off. Or the results of a medical test. Fill in the blank: you\u2019re likely waiting for something, and it can feel like you\u2019re stranded, alone, not sure how it will turn out.<\/p>\n

Lewis Smedes writes, \u201cWaiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for.\u201d As leaders, we might give Smedes props for his prose but bristle against the belief we can\u2019t make our hopes come to fruition. He seems to give us permission to wave the victim flag.<\/p>\n

Which is it? Captains of our ship? Or ships being tossed by the waves?<\/p>\n

How Much Control Do You Have?<\/h2>\n

If you dislike waiting as much as me, here\u2019s what I recommend: start by taking a long, hard look at how much control you have over your waiting. For example, I\u2019m flying back to the States today as a standby passenger (thanks to my wife\u2019s flight attendant benefits), which means I only get on if there\u2019s an open seat. My wife and kids were able to fit onto an earlier flight, but we have little control over how much room a plane will have. We can target more open flights, be at the gate early, and be extremely kind to the gate agents, but beyond that, I’m at the mercy of who shows up (or not). If you\u2019re waiting for the results of a biopsy, you have no control at this point of what will be found. You can do some research, talk with friends, but your level of control is low.<\/p>\n

How you think about your situation may not necessarily affect the outcome, but it can make all the difference while you wait.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Where your level of control is low, the waiting battle is fought in the mind. How you think about your situation may not necessarily affect the outcome, but it can make all the difference while you wait. I can conjure up positive thoughts about getting on today\u2019s flight, but that\u2019s not going to open a seat for me.\u00a0But ruminating over how much of an inconvenience this is won\u2019t help me either<\/a>.<\/p>\n

In situations of low control, there\u2019s wisdom in the \u201ccount your blessings\u201d idea. In my case, my whole family enjoyed a holiday in Europe for a fraction of what it would have cost us if we had to pay typical prices for flights. I\u2019m healthy. I love my job. I\u2019m here because my wife and I are celebrating 30 years of marriage–and I’m more in love with her today than 30 years ago. I could go on with other “blessings”, but you get the point: when control is low, watch how you think. Try to focus on the good, not because it will change your situation as much as help you during the wait.<\/p>\n

We rarely have complete control over situations, but we often have more influence available than we realize.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Where you have more control, use all the influence you can muster. Certainly how you think matters here as well. But what actions can you take? With a promotion, you can\u2019t decide for the boss, but you’re likely not completely without influence. You can discuss your goals, find out what\u2019s expected, and work hard to achieve those expectations.\u00a0You can seek a mentor<\/a>,\u00a0build relationships<\/a>, develop your skills, and keep your resume updated. We rarely have complete control over situations, but we often have more influence available than we realize.<\/p>\n

Regardless of the level of control, waiting is often made better when we have trusted people to go through it with us. Most often, I have a better perspective on situations when I lean into my support network instead of drifting away from it. People can help us process the wait.<\/p>\n

Take a Breath<\/h2>\n

If your wait is relatively insignificant, in the scheme of things,\u00a0take a breath<\/a>. I so easily stress out over situations that won\u2019t even be remembered a day or two from now.<\/p>\n